Movie reviews: “The Purge” (2013) and “The Purge: Anarchy” (2014)

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“This is the Emergency Broadcast System, announcing the commencement of the annual purge. At the siren, all emergency services will be suspended for twelve hours. Your government thanks you for your participation.”

The frustrated novelist in me hasn’t stirred for several years, though once upon a time his grand designs, non-stop pseudo-profundities, and fussy protestations were the entirety of my creative life. He had big plans indeed. Once, over the better part of a two-year period fresh out of college, I spent large chunks of my free time furiously writing, and even more fervently outlining/game-planning, my own great American novel, a conceptually sprawling yet intimate, (I thought) painfully claustrophobic, tale of desperate survival in a dystopian future. The more I worked on actually writing the most vivid individual moments, the more thought I found myself giving over to backstory and larger concepts, mentally adding characters and scenes and set pieces by first the hand and then the bucketful, until what had started years earlier as a short story in my college Creative Writing class had been officially earmarked as not just a novel but a trilogy. Continue reading “Movie reviews: “The Purge” (2013) and “The Purge: Anarchy” (2014)”

Concert review: Chvrches

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Lifestyle Communities Pavilion, Columbus, OH – October 7, 2015

So what do roadies actually do, pre-set, at a Chvrches concert? I mean, can you physically tune a keyboard or a drum machine? Is there really anything one can do to prime a sampler for its big moment on stage, besides, I suppose, making sure it’s plugged in? I understand the legitimate need to test the three microphones, one for each band member, but that single loose end was inexplicably left dangling. Otherwise, it’s just a procession of reed-thin dudes wandering around, pausing occasionally mid-amble to disinterestedly look at something obscure in one equipment bank or other, or on the floor, or at the back of the pavilion, before resuming their strolls. In fact, what I initially mistook for a trio of stagehands, I soon became convinced was actually just the same guy, crossing the stage again and again in rapid, desperate, succession, apparently competing against himself to stand out from a crowd of one. Was he just there for show, I wondered, to convince the audience that, somehow, important preparatory stuff was going on up there and we weren’t simply playing a waiting game? Continue reading “Concert review: Chvrches”

Steelers Thoughts #10 (9/28/15): (Next) Man Up

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Though I am a fairly serious sports fan, DAE as a blog treats sports structurally as a sideline rather than headline topic, and only covers two in earnest: boxing* and professional football. The former is built on the strength of individual fighters and individual events, with no true off-season to speak of, whereas the latter is mostly off-season, building to a sustained five-month crescendo of weekly hostilities that dominates each fall. Football, by turns a joyous and vicious game – often in the course of the same sixty minutes – works on such a tight, unforgiving schedule, with every game precious and important in its own right, that its fans have no choice but full commitment from the moment the first whistle is blown. I’ve often worried that doing any real justice to pro football on a non-dedicated blog would be a fool’s errand, and making a cursory review of the nine official editions of “Steelers Thoughts” so far makes me feel plenty foolish indeed. Continue reading “Steelers Thoughts #10 (9/28/15): (Next) Man Up”

Concert review: “Weird Al” Yankovic

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Tennessee Theatre, Knoxville, TN – August 7, 2015

To its much appreciated and dazzlingly attractive readership, the masthead of this website promises/ threatens, “unrepentant, long-form geekery.” That thought first came to me about a year ago as I upended my brain in desperate pursuit of a Twitter-compatible advertising tagline, unaware I’d stumbled across a possible mission statement instead. It suits the site well, I think, and makes me feel a bit more comfortable and philosophically attuned with the work I turn out here, which lives dead in the middle of the gray area separating “hobby” from “vocation”. I might just as well have written those words in preparatory advance of this review, however, for I am by far the biggest “Weird Al” Yankovic fan I know. It may surprise you, as it did me, to learn that this is not exactly a highly coveted position. Continue reading “Concert review: “Weird Al” Yankovic”

DVR Hindsight #13 (9/16/15): The Bastard Executioner pilot

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The Bastard Executioner – “Pilot” – Season 1, Ep. 1 (FX)

Since the days back when The Shield pilot first detonated and announced the network as a surprising new player in cable drama, FX has considered its darkest original programming with a uniform and almost absurd level of solemnity. Just listen to its TV-ratings voiceover guy, that low, gravelly gatekeeper who dutifully appears at the end of each commercial break to absolve the network from liability for all the iniquitous content to which it’s about to expose the many children watching at home. The disembodied voice, lately heard on urban vampire apocalypse saga The Strain and already honed to a near-parodic level of dripping sinister-ness during seven years of hyping Sons of Anarchy, also has a second charge, which is to simultaneously shoo overly sensitive souls back to their knitting and canasta games while tacitly warning more adventurous prospective viewers to hold onto their hats, or, in the case of the overwrought, undercooked Bastard Executioner, their heads… Continue reading “DVR Hindsight #13 (9/16/15): The Bastard Executioner pilot”

Detour: A song of death, “Death”, thrash, craft, and (almost) karaoke

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An infrequent occurrence, a “Detour” is an attempted standard review that, either from an excess of subject matter, personal perspective, rank obscurity, or unplanned or uncontrollable digressions, ended up significantly changed from its original form by the writing and editing process, sometimes even for the better. There is a review in here somewhere, I promise. You may just have to dig a bit.

appearing: Toxic Holocaust, Lord Dying, Infernal Death (official Death tribute)                              Ace of Cups, Columbus, Ohio – September 6, 2015

It’s important up front to know a little about my mood going into this. I’m a pretty reasonable guy, sweet, empathic, a little goofy. It’s not that my Labor Day weekend leading up to the Toxic Holocaust show was necessarily bad, but it was…frustrating. I won’t bore you (or revolt myself) with first world problems. Suffice it to say that my plans to that moment, best laid and well-intentioned, had gone awry with comprehensive and perplexing regularity, and I was in a mild funk. I needed thrash metal to mitigate my foul mood, and, after two days of existential drifting, it was finally time to consult…the schedule. Continue reading “Detour: A song of death, “Death”, thrash, craft, and (almost) karaoke”

Wes Craven: An Appreciation

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It could be said that I came of age, as both a horror fan and a fan of movies in general, during Wes Craven’s golden age, but the very suggestion of a “golden age” implies undue disrespect to the several distinct and highly influential phases of his career as the author and director of uncommonly smart, uncommonly affecting, above the bar genre nightmares. Craven was a calm, thoughtful, professorial type, sensible but sly, a horror lifer who never particularly seemed to mind toiling away in a disreputable genre. Instead, his work strengthened it from within. At two flashpoint moments, in 1984 and 1996, he succeeded in bringing the movie mainstream to him rather than the other way around, but some of his most personal and memorable successes were written in the margins of his career comparatively. Neither quite the all-encompassing brand name that was his zombie-wrangling forebear George A. Romero, nor the sci-fi/horror auteur that was his contemporary John Carpenter, Wes Craven’s name on a poster, above or just below the title, still carried impressive weight and, with it, made plain certain, unspoken promises. Continue reading “Wes Craven: An Appreciation”

Movie review: “Trainwreck” (2015)

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“I’ve been with a lot of guys.”

“I don’t care! I…how many?”

“I don’t know. How many girls have you slept with?”

“I’ve slept with three women.”

“Me too! I have…slept with three women too.”

“How many guys?”

“What…like, this year?”

To a successful stand-up, a well-honed comedic persona can be an invaluable tool – part battle armor, part Kabuki makeup, part magician’s assistant. Such a persona, historically, particularly becomes the provocateur – your Kinisons, your Dice-Clays, and so forth. The late, great Richard Pryor was such a gifted mimic and storyteller that he could try on new roles two at a time ten times a night and still be hailed for his truth-telling authenticity*. Amy Schumer has enjoyed a meteoric, in many ways fascinating, rise over the past five years from relative unknown to buzzworthy stand-up** to television star to trending pop culture force. Through it all, the stage persona that has allowed her to not only reach but charm a significant audience – largely on the strength of, let’s face it, objectively filthy material – has remained more or less intact. Continue reading “Movie review: “Trainwreck” (2015)”

Movie review: “Sixteen Candles” (1984)

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“Can I borrow your underpants for ten minutes?”

For someone whose work is so often rightly lauded for portraying teenagers in a three-dimensional, sympathetic but non-patronizing light – “realistic”, in critical shorthand – it turns out the late John Hughes was also a hearty proponent of brazen wish fulfillment. To wit: in a fit of pique, Home Alone’s eight-year-old Kevin McAllister wished his family would disappear, and off they rushed the next morning to Paris, without him. Andie Walsh and Keith Nelson, of Pretty in Pink and Some Kind of Wonderful, overlooked the unrequited loves parked right in front of their faces in favor of dogged, unlikely, shockingly successful romantic pursuits of the most popular boy and girl in school respectively. I’ve long contended that the only reason everyone in The Breakfast Club didn’t leave Saturday detention with a brand new significant other on his or her arm was that the group itself was an odd number. Continue reading “Movie review: “Sixteen Candles” (1984)”

Steelers Thoughts #9 (8/10/15): The Not Ready for Primetime Players

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We leave aside the noble, useful, stated purpose of preseason football for a moment, which is to allow a venue through which teams can effectively simulate, or at least approximate, NFL game speed and coaches have an extended opportunity to evaluate young talent in a crucible of combat ostensibly more competitive than training camp drills would be. We do this because the NFL and its member clubs comprise a cut-throat business cartel that would not only probably sell its soul for an extra 30 seconds of prime time ad revenue, it doubtless has many times over. Televised preseason football (gulp) springs from a modified carnival barker/snake oil salesman’s mentality, with the exception that instead of convincing Joe and Jill Q. American that their ho-hum lives are sadly and shoddily incomplete without the inclusion of this revolutionary new product, it is convincing folks with an authentic hole in their lives that the clearly substandard product being peddled is, in fact, a 1:1 replacement for it. Continue reading “Steelers Thoughts #9 (8/10/15): The Not Ready for Primetime Players”